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Pregabalin “Plasma ball"
#1
Been a bit quiet post ban so thought I should probably finish some TRs and so have finally sat down to write up this Lyrica trip...

This is partly a trip report of a certain experience but also offers some elements of overview, since other experiences highlight effects more broadly and the single report was idiosyncratic and is probably a good example of “set” and “setting” altering effects of a drug; hopefully this doesn’t make it over ponderous in regards to personal details.

 
I was initially wary and sceptical of pregabalins positives due to it’s similarity chemically to Phenibut* and some parallels being made betwixt them. Gladly I found Lyrica to be a rather desirable product with some useful and enjoyable properties with an interesting additional visionary twist. It has been compared to many drugs or mixtures thereof regarding effects; I am always of bit wary of comparison leading to a distorted picture, but find the comparison with opiates probably the nearest although I have to say it really is a different kettle of fish and certainly isn’t nauseous. It raises mood, has a pleasing bodybuzz, produces a calm wakefulness and can allow some degree of motivation.
 
I took the 400mg lyrica near the end of my work shift since I knew there would be some delay. There are some slight effects but once home, at maybe an hour, during a cup of tea the onset becomes strong and things begin with typical giddiness. In fact things are totally spinning. It’s too much. I gulp down my remaining beverage and climb into bed. The effects are now very strange and hard to define but I feel crumpled and alien and like I am sinking, things are closing in and around and I am going down into a pit or cavern. Everything is woggly unordinary and zonked. It feels a bit much at this force although the rotation has stopped. At some point I decide I am not going to let a drug beat me, I have things to do. With a bit of effort, once up I am ok.
 
In the kitchen I am making biscuits for my dog from specially selected items appropriate to her diet. I feel good and start working hard. On Pregabalin I am pretty functional but there is an element of chaos to my work.  I work in haste and slight confusion and dash about, I am not quite ataxic but sort of slide and bounce around. I am also prepping our dinner and listening to the radio debate moral complexities of the
Christian baker Gay cake news item that’s been running. I am having a party.
 
Then anxiety keeps rising and abating; It is strange but I start having a strong visualisation of my anxiety; it consists of something I can only describe as being something like a plasma ball running at very high speed; it is maybe a foot or two in front of my head and at least that across and in crazy motion, crackling lines zigzagging out. If I watch the ball I feel calm but my anxiety rises if I follow certain trains of thought or concern each one of which is a filament in the “plasma ball” and become  energetic with focus.
 
I will point out here some of my anxiety is due to a new starter at work who is hopeless and possesses all the zest and go of a melancholic sea-cucumber; I am partly charged with training her but keep on sneaking off elsewhere to avoid the situation and interacting with her, simply letting her do what she pleases
in a desire to manage my stress response or actually acting batty in front of work colleagues. She’s half deaf and half oblivious to instruction anyway.
 
I have a bath; here I again experience the lovely calm of Lyrica but I am very introspective due to my very recent diagnosis of Aspergers. At various times I have sought help for several breakdowns and longterm depression and the like; on one occasion assessed for sectioning due to a public expression and by one individual put down as ‘schizoid’ which I agree is incorrect and a spectrum disorder more fitting. So Aspergers is a currently very popular psychiatric diagnosis. I am for the first time fashionable.. . I am not embarrassed or feeling socially disadvantaged or whatever. I largely don’t care. It wasn’t a surprise and my partner was already diagnosed a year or so ago, and thought it likely in my case also. It’s a label and I am not sure I want to wallow in it and bother particularly with other Aspies, although online communities exist if I should. It all makes little difference; since I have largely learned coping strategies, avoiding stress and now manage socialising pretty well as long as breaks are possible. There is little more to do. The quack was not surprised antidepressants hadn’t worked and I was doing as well as I could all told. At the same time this last week has been a journey through my past history, replaying events in the light of it. I am wondering do I go back and see if I can get symptomatic relief from doctors, be it anxiolytic or stimulants for my lack of motivation and poor “executive function” as the lingo has it (Aspies seem to relish the jargon) or to just carry on, not bother them and self medicate as I have been.
 
Dinners cooked. Eating is absolutely fine on Lyrica – I can’t eat fast enough; chewing is boring I turn the TV off. The drug is slightly isolating-insular; following the TV is hard or more I am distracted or uninterested and self sufficient and I am just as happy in silence. I also don’t find Lyrica the least bit social. I decide to see what the closed eye visuals are doing and shut myself in the bedroom. Surprising for the dose the visuals aren’t so strong today; although there is some element of external change the CEVs on Lyrica are usually very vivid; generally composed of a series of quick flashing well defined seemingly unconnected images flash flash flash  perhaps 3-4 per second or sometimes colours and shapes more abstract.
Ill-defined fragments drift. Humanoid images. Then I can feel my entire outline and the warmth of my dog as if floating in space. It struck me once more that Lyrica has an effect rather like a disassociative.  There is a spacecraft visualised and more of the existing as an outline thing until I get up.
 
It is some while since these events so I don’t recall the rest of the evening; probably not too exciting since memory doesn’t seem affected by Lyrica, but I will make a general observation that a couple of times the latter evening has seemed weird, where the chaotic element has led to a mild gothic spookiness where it is like someone’s snuck in and things have been moved around.
 
What can be said is that that night, as every one on Pregabalin, was one of profound rest. One will go to bed feeling almost stimulated with the flashing images going off behind the eyelids then just drop off and sleep like a baby. Lyrica produces good sleep architecture like phenibut.
 
The morning after one can wake happily and briefly zonked which passes once up. Sometimes there has be a mild hangover, even a little headache but usually one feels fairly good and the morning dose of codeine goes down a treat.
 
Appendix*
Since they are related I’ll briefly give my experience of Phenibut; I have tried the doses in the 1.5-3g range quoted but they are way too high for me and 250-500g was plenty strong enough. There can be a smooth wakeful state produced, distinct from Lyrica, which is briefly pleasing but there can be a lot of wooziness, vague unsteadiness, stomach disturbance, anxiety and general effects similar to the bad effects of alcohol – headachy and not feeling ‘right’ head wiriness. If the direct effects are bad the hangover is worse; a feeling of mild poisoning; spinny headache and just not right; calm but unsettled, stomach issues etc which lasts a long time. Many like it but I find the bad far outweighs the good with Phenibut; Sleep is again of excellent quality which is the only thing that, perhaps at 200mg, I might consider consuming it for but this seems unlikely since the thought of this stuff makes my skin crawl.
"Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law"
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