31-12-2016, 11:31 PM
(This post was last modified: 31-12-2016, 11:55 PM by MagicRaver.)
I had an overdose a few days ago, sadly ended up in the ER. Apparantly in my drunken state, i decided to take a big sip of a 4mg/ml solution. I'd guesstimate it to be around 80-100ml.
Thankfully my body rejected it after a couple of minutes, but too little too late. I remember lying in bed, listening to music i think. My lips were buzzing, i was tumbling around. Kinda like being too drunk, but with a lot of paranoia. I am serious when i tell you, i thought i was going to die. It was fucking horrible.
My mum (i love her to death) called the ambulance. She told me they were reluctant about bringing me in (not really sure what was going on there). I had hit my head HARD on the floor, and scaped my knees and foot, when i fell on a shelf. Serves me right, looking back at it.
Well, they bring me in. (Most of this is what my mum told me, i can't remember much). I weren't cooperating, pretty hard when you're feeling you're about to die. Without being too much of a dick, they're diagnosing me which had taken hours. Honestly feel bad about how i was told i treated the staff.
I got 2 CT scans of my brain while i was there, they looked normal who wold have thought? :P
The medications i got where Cefotaxim 4grams (Cefuroxime?), Penicillin 5 mio x 1 (Not sure what the dosage means) & Dexamethason 10mg.
I'm not sure if the medications did much, but i'm not complaining. Because i'm still alive and thank fuck for that.
The odd thing is, that the drug screen were inconclusive about Cannabis, but showed positive for Benzo's. I haven't had a benzo in months, not sure what happend there.
End of the story is, i'm over with drugs. This is the last time, i have never felt so close to my last breath. I've been somewhat depressed in the last couple of days, mood swings and all that. I'm trying not to be a dick about it, but the smallest things annoy me for some reason. I love my family, but i'd rather they just left me a bit more alone for some time. Not really feeling like socialising. I'm sure that will go away with time, but everyone needs space sometimes.
I can't even concentrate on watching a movie (worse than usually). It's like, i can watch for 15-20min and then i need a break. Were normally i'd be able to watch 30-40 minutes before needing a break (unless it's really interesting, like Westworld). Games i can play for literally 5 minutes, before i feel bored or agitated. Pretty much spend the last few days on reddit pressing F5.
My family dosent know the whole truth. And i think this is one of those times were, you just shut up and move on. It was a grim experience for my mum, don't need to make her more sad than i have to. Maybe someday in the future i'll tell her the whole story. But it has to be the right time for me, and for her. Maybe when things start going the way it should, then will be the right time. She probably already knows, parents know that stuff.
The old man hasn't said much. Can't complain though, i've been a horrible kid over the years. And he has his own set of health issues.
It's been a wild ride, but it's time to move on. I have a nephew and a niece, i'd like to be a somewhat responsible role model. But to do that, i need to sort my life out. The next big step is starting education again, and then look for an apartment.
By the way, sorry my writing is all over the place. Hope you guys have had a nice Christmas, i sure learned a lot.