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L-Theanine
#41
(18-04-2016, 10:36 PM)bloomjim Wrote: Does anyone know if I can switch of the facility on here that quotes every message in my replies?
I like to be given the choice whether to quote and its hard for readers to wade through loads of quoted messages repeating themlelves down the thread.
Anway, I am lucky, I have a good feeling that it wont be nealy as bad as I fear.
The benzo forumss I joined when i first had benzo addiction scared the hell out of me but I got about 2 of the symptoms on the massive list of possible benzo withdrawawls
I knwo the circs are different now, but hopefullly the ending will be happy.
Pregabalin is a fierce drug, ,cant wait to be off that, pregab withdrawal is the reason I can take 60mg valium a day and still be whirrling round nerovous wreck, not relaxed at all.

Just erase them yourself I guess. I don't know how to do it either and it becomes a huge load of unwanted information per message indeed!

Again: I wish you the best with your tapering. Hope diclazepam is helpfull!
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#42
(27-05-2016, 02:40 PM)J.S. Wrote:
(18-04-2016, 10:36 PM)bloomjim Wrote: Does anyone know if I can switch of the facility on here that quotes every message in my replies?
I like to be given the choice whether to quote and its hard for readers to wade through loads of quoted messages repeating themlelves down the thread.
Anway, I am lucky, I have a good feeling that it wont be nealy as bad as I fear.
The benzo forumss I joined when i first had benzo addiction scared the hell out of me but I got about 2 of the symptoms on the massive list of possible benzo withdrawawls
I knwo the circs are different now, but hopefullly the ending will be happy.
Pregabalin is a fierce drug, ,cant wait to be off that, pregab withdrawal is the reason I can take 60mg valium a day and still be whirrling round nerovous wreck, not relaxed at all.

Just erase them yourself I guess. I don't know how to do it either and it becomes a huge load of unwanted information per message indeed!

Again: I wish you the best with your tapering. Hope diclazepam is helpfull!
Thanks for the encouragement.
I am still messing around with trying to find the right diaz dose with the remainder of my diaz pills, once that stomach churning anxiety has calmed down a bit I can go on with my taper.
MH&drug services working  2 decide way frwrd. New Borderline Personality Diagnosis. They can only script a limited amount and told me to stay safe in the meantime. Sold my diclaz cos too nervous to hav so many in flat, just a months supply, and buy each mth.
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#43
Does anyone know a high quality source for this? Ive used health shop brands and nothing.

(15-04-2016, 02:13 PM)bloomjim Wrote:
(14-04-2016, 10:06 PM)acetlyblue Wrote: Doctor saying no because illicit? How else would you get a 60mg a day Diaz habit? No doctor would go above 15mg maybe 30 if extraordinaty circumstances. No way 60 Jose. Total kop-out. Problem with Diclaz are the pellet batches vary enormously. Powder from BRC if you are advanced would be the one i would go for but even with powder i think 6mg of Diclaz won't be enough. Have you seen prescribing consultant at local substance abuse. They are far more clued up than GPs and most if not all will initiate a taper. They will want a positive though ( urine) but no problem there. They get incandescent with rage if you backslide though, one chance only they give. If you take the piss they will initiate supervised consumption and its very emarrasing, open your mouth is mandatory so don't even think about holding in cheek piece.
I've been passed from GP to drug agency and back several times.
Mental health referred me to Drug agency
Drug agency sent me back to GP saying they were not commissioned to do benzo tapers.
GP said that is what drug agencies are for, refused to prescribe me a controlled supervised taperr, and sent me back to drug agency asking them to write to her to tell them what she prescribes me, plus what I take illicitly.
I went back to drug agency on instruction of GP and asked if they would write her a letter as she requested. They neither said yes or no, and referred me back, again, to the GP who has written the drug agency a letter telling them what I am prescribed.
I contacted the drug agency last week to check they had got my GP letter and they had, but they were supposed to call me back and they never.
I rang them yesterday, the person I need to speak to was out, I was promised a call back but none came.
I rang them to day and they said I am not on their client list, even though my GP wrote to them, I gave them permission to phone both my GP and my mental health nurse to tell them what they plan to do, or not to do.
Our of frustration, I rang my GP myself and got to speak to a very nice duty doctor GP, who wanted to know what drugs I take illicitly. He agreeed to write to The drug agency again and request another assessment.
I also rang the mental health office to speak to my CPN but she was not there, and I spoke to a very nice duty nurse called David.
I told him that ever since I Was a teen, I abused alcohol, couldn't just drink at weekends, had to be any time of day I craved a drink,, luckily, even though I badly abused alcohol, I never got a physical addiction to it - fucking miracle, but I gave alcohol up two weeks ago.
The reason being, I have got some un-identified mental health problem, where frustration makes me lose it and I end up hurting myself, breaking my stuff, smashing the place up etc, and the last straw was when I bit the cheek of a poor man who was only trying to restrain me when I was trying to hurt myself.
He could have reported me to the police for assaault, but luckily, he had experienced self harm and mental health and understood and I thanked him gratefully, but decided that alcohol has caused me too many problems, so I managed to f*ck it off two weeks ago.
I'm taking the valium which, as well as keeping withdrwals at bay, has stopped me craving alcohol, a first since I Was a teen.
I used to be a speed addict, but speed makes me get very bad water retention in my legs so bad that walking is difficult so I had to f*ck that off as well.
At the moment, I take my mainttenance dose of 60mg valium illegally, and if my mood is too bad to get out of bed, 2 or 3 times a week I take opiates, like codeine or DHC. I tried oxy but liked it so much it scared the absulute shit out of me, so I darent touch it again, not that I can get hold of it, which is a good thing.
Point being, I have had substance misuse problems since a teen, starting with booze, and now drugs.
I haven't been on 60mg valium that long, about 5 days.
I was taking about 12 of the 7.5mg zopiclones and if I could not get them, about 6 lorazepam, and this went on for about a year or more, but I know that valium is easier to get off.
I managed to get some boxes of diazepam, but the person who I got them from stopped selling this week.
Also, when I did the crossover from zopiclone to valium I got withdrawals, as I did it in one go, so I tried doing it over a month and still got withdrawals.
It turns out, I was taking 30mg a day of valium for a few weeks, and I should have been taking 60mg, becauase one of the 7.5mg zopiclones = 5mg valium, so twelve of them = 60mg.
I worked my way up, first 35mg, then 45mg, then 50mg then 55mg, but wd's were stilll there till I got to 60mg. I still have IBS but none of the other horrors I was getting like cramps, insomnia, nausea, throwing up, etc etc
I think I need to steady on 60mg for another week and then I plan to start a diaz taper, but I don't have enough.
I'm using 6 blues a day, I don't want to use more, but luckily, tolerance for diaz does not build up for me, it did for the zoppy, so I have to take the equivalent in diaz to taper off.
I want to microtaper using liquid, it's quicker, smoother and you get to 0mg wth less withdrawals, but if the underlying cause of why I keep getting addicted to drugs and relapsing, or relapsing on alcohol is not addressed, how am I supposed to keep off them, esp alcohol, whicih is the hardest of all, as it's legal.
If nothing is done to address the underlying cause of my addictoin, I can see myself dying of alcohol poisoning eventually, cos I don't want to keep scoring illegal drugs, no health provider or drug agency is prepared to address the underlying cause and get rid of why I cannot get through the day without drugs or alcohol.
I think it is the dopamine reward that keeps me relapsing on alcohol.
As I am on benzos now and trying to get off, I won't drink till all benzo has left my system after a proper taper, as I know, from experience that alcohol makes benzo withdrawals ten times worse, that is the only thing keeping me off alcohol, otherwise I would have a few bottles of cider here.
At my worst, I Was drinking 6 litres of cider a day or thre litres of wine.
I just want the underlying cause of my addictions sorting out, so that I can live a drink and drug free enjoyable fun and loving life, but right now, I cannot see that happening.

The stress it causes when you are looking for help is digusting. I,m only referring to what you say at the start of this post being thrown from doctors to drugs units to doctors to drug units. It makes me mad at the system and its were I am right now. Ive been forced into finding the solution myself and that in part will be from structured as best I can self medicating. A thread should be started on this. The system for people crying out for help upsets me to the point of anger. The way people crying out for help are treated is digusting and most often I leave more depressed, frustrated and angry than before i went in. Most of these so called drug experts have never been addicted to more than a cup of tea. Ive seen three doctors who, while you are pouring your heart out to them tell you they have other patients they need to see now and you have to go now. It makes me angry. I,m glad at least i am not the only one. I,m sorry for your troubles pal, its hard work doing it on your own.

I have a doctor now, he says the right things and i leave calmer...hes trying to help me i think. Doctors and drugs workers should be encourging people opening up to them about there addiction and be mature enough to know that the person sitting in distress is in a very sensitive place and should be calmed not treated like a drug seeking drug muncher. Makes me mad. I hope this doesn't happen to much but I fear it does. 

I think a lot of people on UKCR are qualified to be a drugs worker.
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