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Impressions of the Mods/Admins/Owner.
#1
Smile 
Just for fun.

I do not know, nor have I ever met, anyone involved in running this website. So the following is necessarily the result of observation, remote-sensing and a diseased imagination, plus, you know, astronomy, respect and fear.

So, deep end.

Blodwyn

Oh shining one, my raindrop words hiss on your gold temple dome, my beating wings flare in your altar flame. 

What may I say about our glorious leader/facilitator/landlady (that won't get me emasculated)? She is made of diamonds and absorbs our love as sustinence. She smells of violets after a rain-storm. She probably likes puffins and home-grown tomatoes. She can make large groups of bikers cry like bairns. She puts brown sauce in our bacon sandwiches. She can blend ban-hammer firmness with knowledge, loving concern and fun. 

She's Florence Knightingale, Mrs Brown and Countess Bathory. 

She can bake love into bread and scones and knows when the sheets need changing. 

Lives in a gingerbread mansion filled with willing, partially-clad servants.

Oh queen-flower of whatever this is, I salute you. 



Renton

Has always had more than one gaming console and knows which one he's getting next. Doesn't mind anything touching his anus. Owns black ash furniture and camouflage clothing. Has an unnecessarily powerful music setup with the acoustic cones lined up with his ears when lying on his bed, for when he gets para' with the headphones on. 

Can swap out RAM by touch in the dark. 

Sometimes borrows fabulous frocks and makeup from Naimh, but will only ever wear his own platform heels, which have some dried blood on them. Has chemical experiences influenced by his ability to quote escape characters in all known programming and markup languages. Farms a few virtual machines on Cuban virtual servers hosting systems of middling moral ambiguity, but generally keeps his head down. 

Can name the different kinds of bukkake and also knows the atomic weight of boron. 

Once had luminous plastic stars stuck to his ceiling. Killed his Tamagotchi by stamping. Finds dinosaurs interesting, but frustratingly not as interesting as he feels he ought to. Can make a joint in total vacuum out of nothing but space-time. 

Rolls up a fifty pound note if anyone mentions Michael Caine. 

Lives in a converted east european warehouse with five cats, two female strippers and a Serbian war criminal who makes cut-price realdolls out of ballistic gel and questionable body molds. 

Yeah, imagine that. 

Ha-ha, you did.

Xo

Owns, enjoys and will buy tweed jackets and waistcoats with coordinated accessories. Has exactly the same number of briar pipes as there are spaces in his pipe rack. 

Has never rushed into anything and is bukkake-ambivalent. 

Has a habit of slowly looming into people's blind spots then addressing them loudly in a deep, mysterious voice not unlike Lord Summer-Isle's in The Wicker Man. Owns a library with walls lined with leather bound tomes where he often ponders, clutching his chin and running his fingertips thoughtfully along the spines. Or in lighter moments, he might recline in his smoking gown by the fire, thumbing through Chap Magazine and stroking his dogs, which he only walks in lonely places or on short leads to avoid having to shout their triple-barreled racehorse names in public. 

Can fill the dots in: 'Love is The Law, .... ...... ....?', and has occasionally been found drooling in a corner.

Sometimes joins farmers at the edges of fields to snoo at the growth patterns of surrounding undergrowth. Has considered and would enjoy owning a transparent ant-farm. Isn't scared of smelling flowers. Likes standing pointing at remote landscape features with a stick whilst out walking. Has been observed to both potter and bumble but is more commonly seen ambling, generally amiably. Would like to discover a trapdoor and stone steps in his cellar during a gibbous moon. 

Nurtures a garden bulging with fecund moon-fruits. 

Fecund.


Tralala

Is made out of coloured triangles. She excretes stylish clothing directly from her skin and smells of honey and poppies. Can score even when dressed in a police uniform and trapped in concrete. Swoops down to earth rarely and only at the right moment. On a surf board. Dips her toes into the limpid folly of human existence. Gives golden advice, crests a wave and is gone. Has a pet abalone. Resides in the living platform on the Plastic Beach album cover, eating sweets, training horses and baking perfect souffles. 

And getting nicely toasted.

Naimh

Knows, uses and endorses the use of 46000 different words cyclically. Ought to repair his Liebzig condenser. Maintains a large collection of frocks and ballroom gowns in boxes. Has a full-length mirror but wants a walk-in wardrobe. Has stolen makeup from clowns, Steve Strange and a Girl's World doll head. 

Has actually read all of The Dubliners. 

As a child, he once reconstructed the torture maze from The Wasp Factory, but got caught by his parents as he was pushing his gerbils into it. 

Gets his style pointers from Kenny Everett's Cupid Stunt, Hello Kitty, Wassily Kandinski and Australian aboriginal art. Comfortably trips balls. Is attracted to self-referent loops and dwarf/reptilian/aquatic pets, who's development he subconsciously enjoys manipulating. Owns several pairs of Doc Martins, some of which he's had a go at painting. Shouldn't be left alone in a room with dolls for more than a few hours. Enjoys stroking cats sensually. 

Bukkake-coy, borderline.

Repeatedly attempts to execute doomed and overly ambitious container-based gardening projects on small balconies. Lives in a 5-level tree-house in a huge deodar in the Himalayas and is never without a really good anodized caribiner.
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#2
Interesting. I have never read The Dubliners. But as a reward for your perspicacity, here's a photo of three shelves of my bookcase. I'm a bit pushed for space in my flat so I tend to use whatever shelf-space I have for general storage. I'm sure I cleared away anything embarrassing though!

[Image: a5RD7Tm.jpg]
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#3
Very poetic oh bilblical one. I know I should look up the relevant bit of Corinthians but have realised I have no Bible. Bit on Xo made me LOL. You have to be a mod or well known ex-member.
Niamh who I think is probably Female it being a Woman's name from the Emerald Isle: Have you read IQ84? Currently reading Kafka on the shore. Murakami is a special writer just read the bit in Kafka where 'Johnnie walker' kills the cats to entice Nakata to kill Him. Made me laugh out loud even though should horrify me but its so funny.
Where oh where is Blodwyn in these desperate times.
The 1st post in this thread is THE ONLY ONE posted today. End game:
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#4
I won't say where you were uncannily close to the mark just since one likes to keep the pretence of a little mystery. Mrs Xoch enjoyed it too and on this basis I might be getting an ant farm or transparent wormery for my birthday. Anyway have an afternoon of blasting away at gojiberries with a 12 bore....
"Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law"
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#5
Uncannily accurate for such a 'new' member! Unless you have a very good imaginay, eh! Which one of your three would you like to keep? Unfortunately the stylish clothing excretions have eluded me, but bang on the money with the rest!

@acetlyblue, Blod has been very unwell lately, but I'll send her this thread to perk her up
This.....is real life
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#6
Sorry to take so long before getting back to this thread but that's simply how I see fit.

Really happy I didn't upset anyone. 

Especially good to see Blue chiming in, but frankly dude, I want to see you keeping this forum alive a bit more or get an explanation why not. Don't you realise who I am? Hehe. It took you longer to point out the fact that you couldn't be arsed to look up the verse than it would have to do so. You were actually on the internet, one click from a search. Seriously. Coffee snob.

Sorry Tralala, kill the earlier incarnations please. Also mwah.

So, Naimh, like your books. Have read many. Intrigued by Murakami, please educate me?
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#8
(31-12-2016, 04:02 PM)Renton Wrote: I recently acquired more strippers

That's the new community care team and I hope you don't get a stiffy when they undress you for bed
This.....is real life
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Any views or opinions posted by members are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of the UKCR staff team.