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Home-made Mouth Guard Instructions
#1
The problem is caused by stress (and stims of course), which is a very difficult thing to get rid of simply by wanting to. Firstly, I'm not a doctor or dentist and this isn't medical advice blah blah usual disclaimer.

The following is something which worked successfully for me and was highly effective. If you can't or won't visit a dentist in a timely fashion, or it's prohibitively expense, this method is an option I think you should adopt. If you grind your teeth, or clench your jaw, then you need one of these. This problem can lead to loss of enamel, requiring expensive crowns in order to avoid developing a non-matching 'bite', or worse mandible problems, which will be an ongoing problem and difficult to solve with supplements, as well as being extremely painful.

So, you probably have the raw materials in your house already. The device is made from that tubular lagging with a split down one side that goes on your copper piping. You likely have a spare bit left by your plumber somewhere, but if he threw it away someone else might have a piece, or it's very inexpensive in hardware stores. If this really isn't an option it's possible to use a section thats already on your pipes, just remove about four inches and cover the pipe by tying material around it. Whilst this might sound distasteful and unhygenic, the foam is closed-cell and can easily be disinfected. This is best done with a pinch of potassium permanganate in water (it's the stuff that makes the pink dental mouthwash) but ordinary soap is a disinfectent too just wash it all off afterwards. If the lagging is semi-closed foam and does absorb a small amount of water, wash thoroughly after disinfecting and press down hard on it with paper towels until they come away dry, then put the guard somewhere hot to get any remaining out.

To make it, do the above first, then:

1) Cut a piece around 3mm from one end, all the way around. You'll probably get it too thick first time, but you've got plenty left. The aim is to cut a piece which springs back just enough to prevent your teeth pressing hard against each other, is thick enough to prevent lateral travel, but doesn't make you feel like Janet Street Porter.

2) Dentists have measurement sensors but we need to use parts of our body here. For the outwards-facing side we'll use our fingers as lips aren't sensitive enough on the inside surface. For the inward-facing edge we use the tip of our tongue. Put the lagging section in your mouth and position it so that one end is held between your rear-most molar on one side and the lagging is between all your teeth. Unless you're a crocodile, this will mean the other end extends too far into your jaw at the other side, don't worry, we'll resolve that in a minute.

3) It's important to get your teeth in the centre of the guard. Using your fingers and tongue as a guide, ensure that the guard entends equally outwards and inwards from your teeth. Check carefully, because the next step is the point of no return and if it goes wrong you'll need to cut another section.

4) Bite down strongly enough and for long enough to make an impression, don't clamp like a pitbull though. You need to make enough of an indentation to prevent lateral movement of your jaw and allow the next step. You'll feel it springing back, that's why we're using this material. It will feel odd at first, but honestly it will become normal over time and getting used to it is much better than living with the problem.

5) Remove the guard and cut off the piece where there are no impressions of teeth. You've now made yourself a mouthguard.

Notes on usage: It takes some getting used to and can feel very strange at first. Try not to concentrate on it as you fall asleep. Read a book or something. You'll notice yourself producing lots of saliva, this is just what these things do, even expensive dentist ones. Whilst this might seem like a problem, you'll still be able to swallow without issues and the saliva is actually a weak alkali and will reduce any untoward acidity in your mouth that might otherwise damage your teeth. It's the perfect mouthwash. Keep the thickness of the guard to a minimum, which takes some practice, and replace it when it loses it's spring. A three inch section should last months though. Over time the strangeness will pass and the involuntary clenching when you insert the guard will pass. In the end, it feels as though you're putting on a pair of comfortable slippers. Periodically disinfect to keep it clean and odour-free. You can put a sugar-free mint in the final rinse-water, or any sugar-free flavour.

I hope this helps people avoid current expense and resolve their clenching and grinding, which can get much more expensive in the future.
Who are you? Are you in touch with all of your darkest fantasies? Have you created a life for yourself where you can experience them? I have. I am fucking crazy. But I am free.
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#2
You haven't been on the Blu-Tak again, AiwassATeenageKeyframe, have you?

;-)
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#3
I love Janet Street Porter

Not enough to wanna bone her

So like is probably more accurate than love

Although I probably would bone her if I'm totally honest

That doesn't necessarily mean I'd enjoy it though

Janet Street Porter....yeah
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#4
Not saying I don't like Janet, she's actually had an influence that's often bordering on John Peel quality behind the scenes.

But anyone can see she could eat an apple through a chicken-wire fence.

I use pink-tack, it's like a coke/pepsi thing.
Who are you? Are you in touch with all of your darkest fantasies? Have you created a life for yourself where you can experience them? I have. I am fucking crazy. But I am free.
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#5
after around 30 years of "having it" I can confirm it fucks your teeth up... the enamel goes and I have a kind groove where the teeth meet the gum. I think what happened is I wore the enamel down (by raving / grinding) and I brush quite hard and used to enjoy a hard tooth brush and (before I gave up smoking) would brush my teeth multiple times a day. I also used to eat 2 apples a day (because I like them) but I've read the acid can also contribute and they do give me tooth ache sometimes (especially the very sweet varieties). My bite no longer lines up which can be uncomfortable at times (usually after a session). I've had a couple teeth on the side towards the back just basically crumble away.

So I've switched to a soft brush and brush less. I'm only on one apple a day now and stick to lower dosed batches such as royal gala or the light green golden delicious (not the dark green ones, they're strong as fuck). And I try not to brush too many times a day - its a balance - keeping them clean after eating whatever but being being careful not to do more harm than good. I hope I'm not boring anybody.

My teeth don't look that bad though. I don't think. If you're not a dentist or not hyper critical about peoples teeth I don't think anybody would / does say or notice anything about my teeth, but you may notice the fillings and gaps etc if for what ever reason I have my mouth wide open for a long time and you were standing quite close staring directly for an extended period but can't think of many social situations in which this is likely happen.

With regards to your remarkably inventive recommendation however, I won't be attacking the pipework and sitting there with a bit of foam in my mouth on a come down anytime soon. Thanks anyway and it is a great idea.


Blankets screw you up. Just say no.
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