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Getting out of drugs.
#21
Hi, I woke up to late to see the postman yesterday, so I had no benzos, a friend brought me some delorazepam, it helped, but I wasn't strongly anxious, just nervous and couldn't sleep.
Today I went to the post office to pick it up.
I first tried nifoxipam, just to have an opinion, took 1 mg ( 2 x 0.5 mg ) on empty stomach and 1:30h after I felt nothing.
So I took 2 mg diclazepam at 14:00, they are same colour has these I got but they seem more flat than the old ones.
I felt a bit relaxed after one hour, smoked a joint to try the blend I just made, hum...nice :)
Was anxious again end of evening, took 1 mg diclaz, and for now I feel good.
No lorazepam/clonaz or other..

I don't know if it would be useful to try 1 or 2 mg nifox in case I can't sleep .
With one mg I felt nothing from it, or a a placebo(?) "mellow relaxing", I was in a good mood when I woke up so don't know.
I think I'm not going to take more benzo for sleep, I feel good and relaxed now, if I smoke and relax myself I could easily sleep now.

@Passiflora
 Why is it harder when you take downer and upper together? 

It will be fine :)

Hello everyone, hope you r all fine.

NOTE: I was not a daily brown user, it was sparingly used over years, like 3-4 times/year, it's just this last (2) month(s) I abused it.
 
So taper began the 13/07 because I wasn't ready before, had to try the new benzos, and stuff I got ( like that MPA, it's nice).
3 days without brown or other stuff, just on diclazepam.
I feel not so bad, but I've hard to get to sleep I'm not tired enough, but once I'm sleeping it lasts 10+ hours.
Next day I always  feel nice, a bit buzzed for one hour or so, it's nice to start the day drinking a good coffee and being chilled "naturally", one joint over that and it's heaven for some time haha  Party
NOTE: I've tried the nifoxipam, on 2 mg I can feel a bit more relaxed, but it's like1:30 - 2h come-up?! Next day tried 4 mg, gave me a nice warm "body chill"  (may be muscle relaxant), cotton legs, and niceley sedated but not really strong, a mellow "feel-good" pill haha 

All in one it's ok, I've some stomach discomfort, poor appetite,headache, anger some time.. lack of energy, but the mood is Ok, so that's most important for now.

I went up to 5-6 mg / per day, is that much of it ?

Thanks folks, all good!

(08-07-2015, 08:01 PM)Exxplorer Wrote: Hi, I woke up to late to see the postman yesterday, so I had no benzos, a friend brought me some delorazepam, it helped, but I wasn't strongly anxious, just nervous and couldn't sleep.
Today I went to the post office to pick it up.
I first tried nifoxipam, just to have an opinion, took 1 mg ( 2 x 0.5 mg ) on empty stomach and 1:30h after I felt nothing.
So I took 2 mg diclazepam at 14:00, they are same colour has these I got but they seem more flat than the old ones.
I felt a bit relaxed after one hour, smoked a joint to try the blend I just made, hum...nice :)
Was anxious again end of evening, took 1 mg diclaz, and for now I feel good.
No lorazepam/clonaz or other..

I don't know if it would be useful to try 1 or 2 mg nifox in case I can't sleep .
With one mg I felt nothing from it, or a a placebo(?) "mellow relaxing", I was in a good mood when I woke up so don't know.
I think I'm not going to take more benzo for sleep, I feel good and relaxed now, if I smoke and relax myself I could easily sleep now.

@Passiflora
 Why is it harder when you take downer and upper together? 

It will be fine :)

Hello everyone, hope you r all fine.

NOTE: I was not a daily brown user, it was sparingly used over years, like 3-4 times/year, it's just this last (2) month(s) I abused it.
 
So taper began the 13/07 because I wasn't ready before, had to try the new benzos, and stuff I got ( like that MPA, it's nice).
3 days without brown or other stuff, just on diclazepam.
I feel not so bad, but I've hard to get to sleep I'm not tired enough, but once I'm sleeping it lasts 10+ hours.
Next day I always  feel nice, a bit buzzed for one hour or so, it's nice to start the day drinking a good coffee and being chilled "naturally", one joint over that and it's heaven for some time haha  Party
NOTE: I've tried the nifoxipam, on 2 mg I can feel a bit more relaxed, but it's like1:30 - 2h come-up?! Next day tried 4 mg, gave me a nice warm "body chill"  (may be muscle relaxant), cotton legs, and niceley sedated but not really strong, a mellow "feel-good" pill haha 

All in one it's ok, I've some stomach discomfort, poor appetite,headache, anger some time.. lack of energy, but the mood is Ok, so that's most important for now.

I went up to 5-6 mg / per day, is that much of it ?

Thanks folks, all good!


Hi all, you'r fin?
Please  I need some help. I need up 8+ mg diclazepam to feel a little tired, usually drinking with it...
Sometimes I feel like I have no energy, sometimes as I'm superman, sometimes a bit sick hot/cold, unpleasant position, I need to move and move...can't stay in place for a long time.

I've tried nifoxipam in addition, 4mg and other day 6mg, I felt it a bit, like relaxing/eavy body, with a touch of sedation, but no "euphoria" or "anxiety relieve", bit of good warm body it may be a good muscle relaxant ..
I must say that with diclazepam It's the First sime since very long long ago I felt so confident and I don't suffer anxiety anymore.
My memory and cognitive abilities are clearly diminished, but far less than during the time I took lorazepam along with clonazolam.
So as I can't sleep, I can't resist just to smoke one or 2 lines brown, and even that doesn't seems to help more. 

I do more sport, I try to eat healthy and see friends, but I'm in a depressed state where nothing brings me joy, happiness seems like a joke.
I don't took anything appart of these really small line H (but it wil be ok),and a bit of MPA to see what I ordered., it's not unpleasant.
Also I smoke almost no weed anymore, just some times with friends ord chill "naturally", I smoke my blends, a lot a the begining but now I manage it well.

Thing is I can't sleep..and once I sleep I'm in a semi_slyppy state, during witch I can walk and put off all the alarm clocks I had  put everywhere to woke me up, without remembering switching them off, I just keep sleeping.

Has someone an idea what's happening?
Is it just  because of the combining of benzo/opiate taper?

Many thanks, I don't know what to do, just wait r what? I Can't upper the doze diclazepam ..and won't tuch  flu-lam for a long time..I feel like I need something to "knock me  out", no more, I can't manage my own brain.

Hi all, I feel fine today, didn't tuch brown or any other benzo, was on 6 mg still 23:00 now on 8 mg, it took the 6 mg in 2 times, first one/two hour after waking up -> 2 mg, in the afternoon 4 mg.
I still have very hard to sleep, I woke up hungry and feeling a bit sick, no appetite during most of days, didn't take speed/psychs ... for days.

Has anyone a suggestion on how to get appetite back to normal, and how to fall asleep easily when you go trough a depressive state?

Thanks all, hope to all !

No one there?

All right as nobody follow my threat, if a moderator could delete it, it will be all good.


My really last update, I followed my benzo  reduction, sleeping is difficult although I'm "benzed" all the day.
I don't take drugs anymore, Just smoke weed sometimes, and other times I smoke some of my blends.
I do more sport, take vitamins and magnesium, like it could help me haha-

I went to my doc, he knows me for a long time, I got prescribed Prozac 20 mg daily in morning and Remergon 15 mg up to 30 mg ( it should help me to sleep but doesn't works, I need my 4 mg diclazepam at day and 2 mg at night to get a bit of sleep).
It seemed I was in a profound depression, it's true that suicidal idealizations were quit common, I had no appetite no motivation, no need to live.
Has someone got trough these medications?
I told him I didn't want to switch from on drug to another just because it's "pharmaceutical" and better tolerated in society, and he respond that if during the next week/10 days I still don't feel better, I had to be hospitalized ( that would be my loose... my last destination or just a passage, I could't imagine myself put into an closed hospital).

2 days since medication, nothing to talk about, apart that I feel even less motivated when I wake up..

So that's it, I don't know why I wrote that as people have no interest in it, but I thing it's a question of respect: I started a timeline about me getting out of drugs and getting into better feelings, so I now finish it.


Thanks to you and wish all the best to all of you

(08-07-2015, 08:01 PM)Exxplorer Wrote: Hi, I woke up to late to see the postman yesterday, so I had no benzos, a friend brought me some delorazepam, it helped, but I wasn't strongly anxious, just nervous and couldn't sleep.
Today I went to the post office to pick it up.
I first tried nifoxipam, just to have an opinion, took 1 mg ( 2 x 0.5 mg ) on empty stomach and 1:30h after I felt nothing.
So I took 2 mg diclazepam at 14:00, they are same colour has these I got but they seem more flat than the old ones.
I felt a bit relaxed after one hour, smoked a joint to try the blend I just made, hum...nice :)
Was anxious again end of evening, took 1 mg diclaz, and for now I feel good.
No lorazepam/clonaz or other..

I don't know if it would be useful to try 1 or 2 mg nifox in case I can't sleep .
With one mg I felt nothing from it, or a a placebo(?) "mellow relaxing", I was in a good mood when I woke up so don't know.
I think I'm not going to take more benzo for sleep, I feel good and relaxed now, if I smoke and relax myself I could easily sleep now.

@Passiflora
 Why is it harder when you take downer and upper together? 

It will be fine :)

Hello everyone, hope you r all fine.

NOTE: I was not a daily brown user, it was sparingly used over years, like 3-4 times/year, it's just this last (2) month(s) I abused it.
 
So taper began the 13/07 because I wasn't ready before, had to try the new benzos, and stuff I got ( like that MPA, it's nice).
3 days without brown or other stuff, just on diclazepam.
I feel not so bad, but I've hard to get to sleep I'm not tired enough, but once I'm sleeping it lasts 10+ hours.
Next day I always  feel nice, a bit buzzed for one hour or so, it's nice to start the day drinking a good coffee and being chilled "naturally", one joint over that and it's heaven for some time haha  Party
NOTE: I've tried the nifoxipam, on 2 mg I can feel a bit more relaxed, but it's like1:30 - 2h come-up?! Next day tried 4 mg, gave me a nice warm "body chill"  (may be muscle relaxant), cotton legs, and niceley sedated but not really strong, a mellow "feel-good" pill haha 

All in one it's ok, I've some stomach discomfort, poor appetite,headache, anger some time.. lack of energy, but the mood is Ok, so that's most important for now.

I went up to 5-6 mg / per day, is that much of it ?

Thanks folks, all good!

(08-07-2015, 08:01 PM)Exxplorer Wrote: Hi, I woke up to late to see the postman yesterday, so I had no benzos, a friend brought me some delorazepam, it helped, but I wasn't strongly anxious, just nervous and couldn't sleep.
Today I went to the post office to pick it up.
I first tried nifoxipam, just to have an opinion, took 1 mg ( 2 x 0.5 mg ) on empty stomach and 1:30h after I felt nothing.
So I took 2 mg diclazepam at 14:00, they are same colour has these I got but they seem more flat than the old ones.
I felt a bit relaxed after one hour, smoked a joint to try the blend I just made, hum...nice :)
Was anxious again end of evening, took 1 mg diclaz, and for now I feel good.
No lorazepam/clonaz or other..

I don't know if it would be useful to try 1 or 2 mg nifox in case I can't sleep .
With one mg I felt nothing from it, or a a placebo(?) "mellow relaxing", I was in a good mood when I woke up so don't know.
I think I'm not going to take more benzo for sleep, I feel good and relaxed now, if I smoke and relax myself I could easily sleep now.

@Passiflora
 Why is it harder when you take downer and upper together? 

It will be fine :)

Hello everyone, hope you r all fine.

NOTE: I was not a daily brown user, it was sparingly used over years, like 3-4 times/year, it's just this last (2) month(s) I abused it.
 
So taper began the 13/07 because I wasn't ready before, had to try the new benzos, and stuff I got ( like that MPA, it's nice).
3 days without brown or other stuff, just on diclazepam.
I feel not so bad, but I've hard to get to sleep I'm not tired enough, but once I'm sleeping it lasts 10+ hours.
Next day I always  feel nice, a bit buzzed for one hour or so, it's nice to start the day drinking a good coffee and being chilled "naturally", one joint over that and it's heaven for some time haha  Party
NOTE: I've tried the nifoxipam, on 2 mg I can feel a bit more relaxed, but it's like1:30 - 2h come-up?! Next day tried 4 mg, gave me a nice warm "body chill"  (may be muscle relaxant), cotton legs, and niceley sedated but not really strong, a mellow "feel-good" pill haha 

All in one it's ok, I've some stomach discomfort, poor appetite,headache, anger some time.. lack of energy, but the mood is Ok, so that's most important for now.

I went up to 5-6 mg / per day, is that much of it ?

Thanks folks, all good!


Hi all, you'r fin?
Please  I need some help. I need up 8+ mg diclazepam to feel a little tired, usually drinking with it...
Sometimes I feel like I have no energy, sometimes as I'm superman, sometimes a bit sick hot/cold, unpleasant position, I need to move and move...can't stay in place for a long time.

I've tried nifoxipam in addition, 4mg and other day 6mg, I felt it a bit, like relaxing/eavy body, with a touch of sedation, but no "euphoria" or "anxiety relieve", bit of good warm body it may be a good muscle relaxant ..
I must say that with diclazepam It's the First sime since very long long ago I felt so confident and I don't suffer anxiety anymore.
My memory and cognitive abilities are clearly diminished, but far less than during the time I took lorazepam along with clonazolam.
So as I can't sleep, I can't resist just to smoke one or 2 lines brown, and even that doesn't seems to help more. 

I do more sport, I try to eat healthy and see friends, but I'm in a depressed state where nothing brings me joy, happiness seems like a joke.
I don't took anything appart of these really small line H (but it wil be ok),and a bit of MPA to see what I ordered., it's not unpleasant.
Also I smoke almost no weed anymore, just some times with friends ord chill "naturally", I smoke my blends, a lot a the begining but now I manage it well.

Thing is I can't sleep..and once I sleep I'm in a semi_slyppy state, during witch I can walk and put off all the alarm clocks I had  put everywhere to woke me up, without remembering switching them off, I just keep sleeping.

Has someone an idea what's happening?
Is it just  because of the combining of benzo/opiate taper?

Many thanks, I don't know what to do, just wait r what? I Can't upper the doze diclazepam ..and won't tuch  flu-lam for a long time..I feel like I need something to "knock me  out", no more, I can't manage my own brain.

Hi all, I feel fine today, didn't tuch brown or any other benzo, was on 6 mg still 23:00 now on 8 mg, it took the 6 mg in 2 times, first one/two hour after waking up -> 2 mg, in the afternoon 4 mg.
I still have very hard to sleep, I woke up hungry and feeling a bit sick, no appetite during most of days, didn't take speed/psychs ... for days.

Has anyone a suggestion on how to get appetite back to normal, and how to fall asleep easily when you go trough a depressive state?

Thanks all, hope to all !

No one there?

All right as nobody follow my threat, if a moderator could delete it, it will be all good.


My really last update, I followed my benzo  reduction, sleeping is difficult although I'm "benzed" all the day.
I don't take drugs anymore, Just smoke weed sometimes, and other times I smoke some of my blends.
I do more sport, take vitamins and magnesium, like it could help me haha-

I went to my doc, he knows me for a long time, I got prescribed Prozac 20 mg daily in morning and Remergon  15 mg up to 30 mg ( it should helps me to sleep but doesn't works, I need my 4 mg diclazepam at day and 2 mg at night to get a bit of sleep).
It seemed I was in a profound depression,  it's true that suicidal idealizations were  quit common, I had no appetite no motivation, no need to live.
Has someone got trough these medications?
I told him I didn't want to switch from on drug to another just because it's "pharmaceutical" and better tolerated in society, and he respond that if during the next week/10 days I still don't feel better, I would have to be hospitalized ( that would be my loose... my last destination or just a passage, I could't imagine myself put into an closed hospital).

2 days since medication, nothing to talk about, apart that I feel even less motivated when I wake up..

So that's it, I don't know why I wrote that as people have no interest in it,  but I thing it's a question of respect: I started a timeline about me getting out of drugs and getting into better feelings, so I now finish it.


Thanks to you and wish all the best to all of you
Freedom is something you have to fight for, or it slowly leaves humanity'soul. 
Reply
#22
No drugs for now. But i'm on antidepressant treatment since 3/4 weeks, only been smoking a bit of brown 2 or 3 time over nearly 2 months..so not so bad.

Was taking about 6 mg diclazepam to feel normal, Now I am at 2/3 mg and it ok, will go for only 2/1.5 soon.
All  good, more news next time
Freedom is something you have to fight for, or it slowly leaves humanity'soul. 
Reply
#23
Very glad to hear back from you. Sorry for the lack of previous follow up, we're all only here part time and not immune to bouts of depression ourselves. We certainly remain interested, though, it sounds like a much better picture than you were describing a month or so ago. 

For me, personally, SSRIs didn't work well, but it turns out I'm bipolar. They are effective for many patients with clinical depression, and it's actually maybe quite helpful to be on a low and receding dose of a benzo as you go onto them. Typically it reduces anxiety and improves compliance with treatment as compared with starting them from scratch. In turn, if the SSRIs have the intended effect, they should enhance your ability to continue tapering off the benzos, which seems to be going well so far.
Reply
#24
You could try pregablin to get off the brown, or balloon for an all round helper for stopping addictions.

If the brown is an issue you can always try ibogaine, it's pretty extreme but complete loss of the addiction in a weekend and it genuinely works. look it up on vice.com

Edit** also mirtazapine is fantastic for sleep, anxiety, eating, fantastic for depression and cessation from all drugs, and in actual fact in 2012 the biggest research of its kind found it was better in efficacy, low side effect profile and speed at which it takes effect than 12 of the top most prescribed SSRIs in the us.

I've been on it 3 years it's fantastic.

Also I came off a 12mg a day xanax addiction with EASE on a valium taper, BUT one little trick I found when if your caught short and starting to get withdrawals... Drink vodka trust me it works and its better than being a shaking mess.

Just do 2 shots see how you feel after 5 minutes and repeat JUST until the anxiety subsides, don't get drunk coz you'll get rebound anxiety.
Reply
#25
(21-08-2015, 01:05 PM)mindyabiznis Wrote: You could try pregablin to get off the brown, or balloon for an all round helper for stopping addictions.

If the brown is an issue you can always try ibogaine, it's pretty extreme but complete loss of the addiction in a weekend and it genuinely works. look it up on vice.com

Edit** also mirtazapine is fantastic for sleep, anxiety, eating, fantastic for depression and cessation from all drugs, and in actual fact in 2012 the biggest research of its kind found it was better in efficacy, low side effect profile and speed at which it takes effect than 12 of the top most prescribed SSRIs in the us.

I've been on it 3 years it's fantastic.

Also I came off a 12mg a day xanax addiction with EASE on a valium taper, BUT one little trick I found when if your caught short and starting to get withdrawals... Drink vodka trust me it works and its better than being a shaking mess.

Just do 2 shots see how you feel after 5 minutes and repeat JUST until the anxiety subsides, don't get drunk coz you'll get rebound anxiety.
Hi, didn't you get sleep disturbances and strange dreams with it?
When I take it I almost feel motivated.. and I sleep way too long, and I'm still too tired I can't manage  to do thinks I have to do.
Now I try 1/2 Mitrazapine (15mg) to see how I react to it (even if it's written not to break the pill, you have to put it on your tongue).

2 mg diclazepam is Ok if I have some weed, without weed I may need larger doses.

And yes, with Mitrazapine I am so tired that I don't think about taking drugs, I just want to do nothing.. it's a real bad side effect in my case.

The only reason I keep up with this treatment is because I feel nearly no anxiety anymore!
And panic attacks are shorter and don't last long, it's a really nice thing but if I could get a bit more energy I would be glad.

Doc said " Wait, the sedation will decrease over the time" but it didn't sedate me, I just sleep for a long long time and I'm tired till end of the day (only time I have a bit of energy).

All good, :)
Freedom is something you have to fight for, or it slowly leaves humanity'soul. 
Reply
#26
(21-08-2015, 09:27 PM)Exxplorer Wrote:
(21-08-2015, 01:05 PM)mindyabiznis Wrote: You could try pregablin to get off the brown, or balloon for an all round helper for stopping addictions.

If the brown is an issue you can always try ibogaine, it's pretty extreme but complete loss of the addiction in a weekend and it genuinely works. look it up on vice.com

Edit** also mirtazapine is fantastic for sleep, anxiety, eating, fantastic for depression and cessation from all drugs, and in actual fact in 2012 the biggest research of its kind found it was better in efficacy, low side effect profile and speed at which it takes effect than 12 of the top most prescribed SSRIs in the us.

I've been on it 3 years it's fantastic.

Also I came off a 12mg a day xanax addiction with EASE on a valium taper, BUT one little trick I found when if your caught short and starting to get withdrawals... Drink vodka trust me it works and its better than being a shaking mess.

Just do 2 shots see how you feel after 5 minutes and repeat JUST until the anxiety subsides, don't get drunk coz you'll get rebound anxiety.
Hi, didn't you get sleep disturbances and strange dreams with it?
When I take it I almost feel motivated.. and I sleep way too long, and I'm still too tired I can't manage  to do thinks I have to do.
Now I try 1/2 Mitrazapine (15mg) to see how I react to it (even if it's written not to break the pill, you have to put it on your tongue).

2 mg diclazepam is Ok if I have some weed, without weed I may need larger doses.

And yes, with Mitrazapine I am so tired that I don't think about taking drugs, I just want to do nothing.. it's a real bad side effect in my case.

The only reason I keep up with this treatment is because I feel nearly no anxiety anymore!
And panic attacks are shorter and don't last long, it's a really nice thing but if I could get a bit more energy I would be glad.

Doc said " Wait, the sedation will decrease over the time" but it didn't sedate me, I just sleep for a long long time and I'm tired till end of the day (only time I have a bit of energy).

All good, :)

I did find the mirtazapine has a buffer period of about 2 weeks before the drowsiness stops I found as long as you don't take it any later than 10pm then you can get up for work fine.

No crazy dreams just decent real REM sleep as apposed to false sleep from zopiclone etc.

I found 45mg too much so went down to 30 and seriously it changed my life, better sleep means your better equipped to deal with whatever life's throwing at you the next day, also if makes you a carb feind, i eat a LOT mostly healthy some junk and im only 10st but when I've taken 45mg i literally can eat non stop allllllllll day long a lot of bodybuilders use it to keep their appetite up.

Stick with the mirtazapine it's worth it and just remember not to take it too late other wise it fucks you the next day.

Any more questions on ANYTHING mate im here and have a lot of knowledge and experience :)
Reply
#27
Sounds like you're doing well Explorer, keep it up! Your posts have become more coherent as the thread as progressed, which is a good thing!


Being hospitalised will not be your 'final destination', but as you say a 'passage' through. I doubt it'd be for long and they'll make sure your addictions are kept at bay/eased/tapered off. It'll probably only be for a few days max whilst they check that you've stabilised. I'm just saying in case you really need to go, don't shut it off as an option, because it'll most likely be helpful. At the end of the day, you're getting out drugs so that you can lead a better life, so don't forget that and they can be a valuable tool!


Be careful of your stim usage, go as low as you can go, I went through two weeks of very high MPA usage and by the end I couldn't sleep at all, but I was tired. I stayed up for 40 hours, and each night I was finding it hard to sleep, it accumulates and the residual stimulation is awful. 4 days after stopping this 2 week usage I'm still recovering slowly, and have only felt cognitively-able since the third day. It's also addictive in its own right. This is probably another reason why you can't sleep, so go easy on it or not at all preferably, you'll be able to sleep better and once you start doing that you'll feel much better than any sleep-deprived-but-stimmed-state MPA can give you.

Don't be afraid of taking time off to recover, or sleeping in the day.


If you're taking the SSRIs then stick with it, the initial week or two will be the hardest but I doubt anything on the withdrawals from other things.


Try and use the real stuff as opposed to the synthetic cannabinoids, or not at all. Also, use all your drugs for tapering or for keeping withdrawals at bay, don't use them to get high, see these drugs as tools to being clean.

Make sure you eat well (get some multivitamins and buy lots of food: bread, vegetables, anything that you want but keep it on the healthy side).


I wish you good luck in your quest, life will be so much better when you're finally free of dependence!
Reply
#28
Hi all, hope you'r all fine.
mindyabiznis I was first scripted for 30 mg Mitrazapine, but he told me I coud go down to 15 mg if I feel to much side effects from 30 mg (it was my case).
Fact is, it should be sedative because of histamine h1 receptor affinity but strangely I mostly get "motivated" after consumption, and I don't feel the "speedy" feeling many talks about from Prozac (at 20  mg).


Shrub I don't get strong stimulation from MPA, somekind of weak amphetamine..But yeah I just tried it 2-3 times for fun, and 2-3 times as a functional stimulant, and I only once had that issue, no sleep, otherwise I find it nice, will order some again later, I try to take a long enough break, for my body and mostly for my mind.
Don't take it anymore, I may only have enough for one good line, so I keep it for emergency.

And yes weed is way better than noids, but as I was taking much brown and coke I have to pay attention to money right away, and noids are cheep.
Over that I get more and more bored from the blend, so I smoke less and less, still I wan't to be really high again, in this case I drink, smoke weed, and take more benzos  (it happens like twice or tree times a month, when I'm really sad), and then again I will smoke less and less from my blend, also weed.

It's like "come on let's smoke a big weed joint" and I will answer myself "a small blend joint now, and I keep the big weed joint for later", so I globally smoke less from both over time :) .
Hospitalization isn't for me because: 
- I hate hospitals 
- I've a dog
- I've plants that needs my attention, you know.. medicine  plants, my goal is autoproduction.


And yes I've seen that Mitrazapine get you hungry, when depression really kicks in I was eating quite nothing, I had no appetite anymore, so that's a nice point, but it does that mostly at night, whenever I take the pill..
Only issue is that I'm tired when I woke up and I sleep for a really long time ( like the first times I took f-lam), but no sedation felt after consumption of the pill, I may react strangely to Mitrazapine haha.

All in one I feel fine in general, but still have really difficult moments where the only solution seems death, but it's ok, I manage it better now.

Thanks to all of you :)
Freedom is something you have to fight for, or it slowly leaves humanity'soul. 
Reply
#29
Hello everyone, here are some news..

I had no drugs since a really long time now, appart of half a tab acid that did absolutely nothing (I know now it's because of SSRIs).

At the really begining of my medication I was feeling weird, mild "serotoninergic-like" syndrome.
Also I was sleeping really long and then I wouldn't be able to sleep for one day, my sleep pattern was 24 h sleep/ 48 awake.
After about one week I felt more and more confident and less depressed (but not good at all).
These positives effects lasted about 50 days, but I was feeling like I was a stranger to myself.
I acted and though as another person, and I was sometimes really confused and near to depersonalisation.
So I decided to reduce my SSRIs intake, I was motivated by the fact that I once forgot to take them for several days and I felt better.
Without talking about all that to my doc, the treatment was just shit..
Now I take Prozac 20mg all 3 days, but I still take mirtazapine 15 mg at night, I'm planning to reduce to 7.5 mg.

From time to time I chased the dragoon, but on really rare occasions, also I took C just twice, I'm glad to be out of that.
Also I cut of my benzos habit. Now I take 1 mg diclazepam like twice a week ( tree times max) just in stressful situations. 

So all in all I'm mostly fine again, thanks to you all, your support was helpful.
Freedom is something you have to fight for, or it slowly leaves humanity'soul. 
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#30
I'm on mirtazapine. I vowed to go atleast 2 weeks on my 45mg dose. The drowsiness stopped as long as I got out of bed early next day. I for once in my 7 or so years taking drugs regularly felt like I could actually enjoy life without drugs even though im a  depressed anxious mess still (+ still attempting to get off la benzos)

alcohol is my problem though. Got drunk yesterday and ordered some mxp but I'm glad cos it isn't stims which I've madly been abusing for the past 6 months
but alcohol is my real problem because every fucking time I break from chems I drink and then order chems when I do so well

Thud

Anyway I'm glad you're doing well exxplorer. I wish I could cut my drug use to every so often instead of can't live without  thumbdown

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