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Diagnosed with epilepsy
#1
So, some of you (probably not many) may have noticed I haven't accessed the forums lately. 

   First it started with depression to which I was prescribed Citalopram, been of this for 6 weeks so far and I can't really make my mind up whether it's doing me good or not, depression-wise. But one of the side effects I've noticed from Citalopram is insomnia. 

   After a few weeks or so of this I had apparently had a nocturnal seizure. (Some of you may know of my first and last seizure) Kicked holes in my wall, woke up incredibly angry (unbeknownst to me, I have no recollection of this) swearing at my parents etc. After a few hours I had incredible back pain, so bad that I wasn't able to get back upstairs, from where I had had my seizure (must have felt nothing whilst waltzing downstairs) I have have multiple minor tremors and seizures since then.

   Fast forward a few days and I go to see my Dr. and tell her what had been happening and got booked in to a Neurologist for a check up which resulted in a follow up EEG and prescription to Carbamazepine. 

   I received a review letter from the neurologist after a week or so and dotted around the letter was the acronym SUDEP. Not a nice thing to read when you're in the midst of depression. Luckly my brothers GF also suffers from epilepsy and told me not to worry about it, as she lives a pretty much normal life, travelling the world etc.


Anyway, I just wanted to share this here as I've cut myself from a lot of AFK friends and haven't really had a chance to tell my story to anyone. One thing keeping me going is music though, I made it onto BBC Introducing again which lifted my spirits form a short while. All my tracks are on soundcloud if you'd like to have a listen just search "spamjav" 

   So that's my story covering the last few weeks/months ( I noticed I'm banned from shoutbox, I don't recall what I said or did to deserve this but it's probably a fitting punishment, as I had been self medicating with strong alcohol whilst taking my AD's and I've been told I became an unbearable person to be around)


   Please don't take this as a pity post. I just wanted to get things off my chest and one thing I know for sure is that this place is full of some of the most forgiving people I've ever met, so I'd like to thank you all for supporting others like me and having faith in those that need help on their way to getting better.


   Over and out. Spam <3
Don't want regrets, going to try my best
But I'm only a man doing what I can
And I'll go forth with these words in my hand, in my hand.
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#2
Sounds like you're coping well with things. I've known a few people with epilepsy and once it's under control it doesn't seem to have affected their lives all that much. One person I knew used to have absence seizures and we realised in retrospect that I'd seen this happen a few times without knowing what I was seeing - she'd just stop talking in the middle of a sentence for 20 to 30 seconds and then start again as if nothing had happened. I didn't realise that from her point of view those 20-30 seconds of blankness didn't exist. She'd probably been having them since she was a child and it was only after a full on tonic-clonic seizure while she was at work in her mid-twenties that she was diagnosed.

(There was a shoutbox ban on your account. I think this is from April, but I don't remember the specific issue that would have resulted in it being applied. April was really busy, so it should probably have been removed at some point but just got missed in the midst of everything else going on. I've removed it now, so you should have shoutbox access again.)
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#3
Well epilepsy as you say is in most cases not likely to massively effect life or something to worry about - you been given meds - if so what? Just being nosy really since medicine interests me. My dad had everything wrong with him including epilepsy but although my mum remembers it happening I don’t and it was well controlled by meds I know he had benzos - dunno if there was anything else much back then - clearly more now.
Depression is as you will no doubt agree is a lot harder so I wish you well; I’d give the ADs a bit longer to judge if your better off; they won’t make most people in anyway euphoric but more limit the worse of things so it isn’t always a case of “curing” depression but limiting it till it works through one way or another and preventing it really going south. I won’t be as obvious as to say keep in with friends since that is really how depression works but try not to fall out of too many things that keep you out of a desending spiral. Certainly creative things like music are a benefit.
"Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law"
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#4
(25-07-2016, 07:32 PM)Xochipilli Wrote: Well epilepsy as you say is in most cases not likely to massively effect life or something to worry about - you been given meds - if so what? Just being nosy really since medicine interests me. My dad had everything wrong with him including epilepsy but although my mum remembers it happening I don’t and it was well controlled by meds I know he had benzos - dunno if there was anything else much back then - clearly more now.
Depression is as you will no doubt agree is a lot harder so I wish you well; I’d give the ADs a bit longer to judge if your better off; they won’t make most people in anyway euphoric but more limit the worse of things so it isn’t always a case of “curing” depression but limiting it till it works through one way or another and preventing it really going south. I won’t be as obvious as to say keep in with friends since that is really how depression works but try not to fall out of too many things that keep you out of a desending spiral. Certainly creative things like music are a benefit.

I was working a job where I probably bit off more than I can chew (for the £££) and it got super stressful and was loosing a lot of sleep because of it. 16hr days in a kitchen isn't worth it, no matter the pay...

I'm on carbamazepine. 100mg in the morning 100mg at night then it changes weekly.

The AD's aren't giving me the effect I expected because I don't think I'm getting out as much. I'm starting to go for long walks everyday whilst listening to podcasts etc (Dan Carlin, Sam Harris, Joey Diaz etc). The boost moral and humility, especially Uncle Joey.


Thanks for you both for replying, I was starting to think this place had turned into a bit of a graveyard! :)

(25-07-2016, 05:55 PM)niflheim Wrote: Sounds like you're coping well with things. I've known a few people with epilepsy and once it's under control it doesn't seem to have affected their lives all that much. One person I knew used to have absence seizures and we realised in retrospect that I'd seen this happen a few times without knowing what I was seeing - she'd just stop talking in the middle of a sentence for 20 to 30 seconds and then start again as if nothing had happened. I didn't realise that from her point of view those 20-30 seconds of blankness didn't exist. She'd probably been having them since she was a child and it was only after a full on tonic-clonic seizure while she was at work in her mid-twenties that she was diagnosed.

(There was a shoutbox ban on your account. I think this is from April, but I don't remember the specific issue that would have resulted in it being applied. April was really busy, so it should probably have been removed at some point but just got missed in the midst of everything else going on. I've removed it now, so you should have shoutbox access again.)

Mine are mainly nocturnal, so I have no idea that they've happened until either

1. I wake up severely injured (Seizure 1 resulted in a shattered and dislocated shoulder, with me managing to get back into bed like nothing happened)
2. I wake up with blood coming from my mouth or nose
3. Reports from my parents about what I had done.

Ultra scary when you have no idea that anything has happened. Hopefully the Carbamazepine will help me sleep because this insomnia is killing me. But I doubt they're going to prescribe me nitraz or ambien to cope.
Don't want regrets, going to try my best
But I'm only a man doing what I can
And I'll go forth with these words in my hand, in my hand.
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#5
If its not too personal Spam, how old are you? and do you feel you can contribute this to drug use use/abuse/excess? i myself worry that i might be myself have caused siezure tendacy with in myself ive had 2 and half as its basicy goes all a couple of years ago> ive also a penchant for Benzo which is now manged but i ear wil eaad me to a ball bag of a ife for a whie chin up mucka *sorry shit keyboard
  
Try everything twice Because who knows, you might have got it wrong the first time
.
  
C
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#6
(26-07-2016, 01:27 AM)Borderline Wrote: If its not too personal Spam, how old are you? and do you feel you can contribute this to drug use use/abuse/excess? i myself worry that i might be myself have caused siezure tendacy with in myself ive had 2 and half as its basicy goes all a couple of years ago> ive also a penchant for Benzo which is now manged but i ear wil eaad me to a ball bag of a ife for a whie chin up mucka *sorry shit keyboard

Not personal at all fella, ask away. I'm 27 (28 in a few weeks). I don't think I can attribute this 100% to drug use, but I was using stimulants on days I was finding it hard to get out of bed. Especially during December when I was finishing work around 11 and coming back in for 7-8 the next morning. It wasn't what I would call abuse, although, I may consider my intake of caffeine heroic!

Benzo's have been a big part of my life ever since chems2u offered it alongside B2, this was the first time I'd taken a benzo (Etiz) and I ended up with a love hate relationship. I was stupid and didn't do my RESEARCH going into trying this CHEMICAL. 
After that I gave benzos the respect I thought they desevered, but obviously not enough as I fucked up with etiz once more and again with F'lam. After my final fuck up with F'lam I avoided benzos (triazalos?) ever since and cut down heavily on my stim intake. Switching to 1p-LSD and the like (one of the best decisions I've ever made, helped me see through the wool I had pulled over my own eyes)

Thanks everyone for the replys. I knew I could count on this place for some support.
Don't want regrets, going to try my best
But I'm only a man doing what I can
And I'll go forth with these words in my hand, in my hand.
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