Dependent on stimulants to stay awake leading to abuse of other drugs

[niamh]

And regards to the list of chemicals, it's not seeking attention. I'm listing them for my psychiatrist @ What ever cunt said so.

We're not your psychiatrist and beginning your post with a long list of chemicals at high doses does resemble attention seeking (even though, with context outside of the post, I understand that it's not intended that way).

I know exactly who you're referring to because I was around in the shoutbox when the attention seeking thing came up and responded to it by explaining to you how your post can easily be read this way. It was not an attempt to dismiss you out of hand, but came from a position of concern. Maybe you missed it because you responded to me by saying we could go fuck ourselves, would figure out a way on your own and would "rather just fucking let these drugs kill me".

Neither that, nor calling other members cunts for what is, in fact, a fairly reasonable reading of your post and an attempt to provide you with blunt but helpful advice is acceptable behaviour. You were jumping to conclusions and responding with anger and frustration, which certainly seems like an effect that your drug use is having on the way you perceive and interact with the world (which is something to consider). This isn't something I've seen from you before and it's because it's out of character that I'm concerned.

Regardless of what's driving this, you are over the line here. Abusive behaviour towards other members is against the rules and if this goes further I'll be looking at more serious moderation action than just telling you this. This doesn't mean you're not welcome here: You are. I don't think you're being malicious, I think you're responding out of frustration to a perceived slight that isn't actually there.

Please, take some time to think this over and consider what I'm telling you before responding. Feel free to PM me to discuss further.

[RSaddicted]

Poly drug use is not the preffered option. Get over it. Have been a poly-drug user for 20+ years i'm no nearer feeling better with the caveat its entirely possible i might have topped myself at some point if not Comfartably Numb. Pretty sure the high dosing is 'the last resort' and nobody defo not professionals would start at that dose regime without trying normal clinical doses first. It could well be your Stim use is interfering with those other drugs. The brain and interactions in it by various drugs are still poorly understood my advice is try the prescribed regime without recreational drugs for a defined period you can then go back explain and maybe its the hard fact they aren't the answer but don't sit there wondering. Try it!

Exactly my thoughts. It's quite possible that recreational drugs are interfering with the medication and the doctors have no clue what else they should do other than upping the dosage. If I were in their situation, I could see myself doing the same if the patient didn't improve after trying a thousand different meds, combinations and dosages.

[Coelacanth]

A late, great friend of mine was paranoid schizophrenic. He had it bad. He loved to take xtc as often as he could, daily at times. Said it made him feel better, more like a normal person. It allowed him to see his friends and hang out, and keep his illness from totally controlling him. It was no miracle treatment in my eyes, maybe just enough to feel slightly better for a short part of the day. God knows what the comedowns must have done to him.
We all advised against this regular use but he carried on anyway. I would sometimes join him in getting high as he was doing it regardless of whether I did or not. It meant I could spend time with him and try to help him. I spent years trying to help him without much success. It's really hard to stop someone from feeling good when the alternative is to suffer from a terrible condition.

Anyway, my point in bringing it up is that he spent most of his adult life in mental hospitals. (for much longer durations after the xtc taking)  He used to get arrested on purpose so that they would admit him again when he was badly ill. He was never seen around for very long and when he was seen he was on so much prescribed meds that he was a completely different person.
My thoughts are that if he kept off the illegals (no rc's back then) maybe he could have spent more time outside of the homes. No way of knowing for sure.
Was a lovely guy too, never a danger to anyone no matter how ill he got. I wish I had gotten more time to spend with him. The medications he tried never worked for long, or he'd stop taking them as he'd hate becoming like a zombie, hence why he chose xtc.
I don't know much about the illness or the meds beyond what he would tell me, but I kept hoping/expecting that someday the doctors would find a combination that would let him function in the outside world.
It never happened as he died far too early. (Not from anything i've written about here) Wish I'd had the chance to spend more quality time with him. It would sometimes be years before I heard from him again, and those times were usually about some delusion he needed to tell me about.

Sorry for going all personal. I'm not trying to scare you or anything. I just wanted to say how a quick fix that doesn't seem to do much damage at the time could have negative repurcussions as you get older. You're still young and could live a healthy and happy life, as many schizophrenia sufferers no doubt do. I'm not saying you're like my friend at all. I just think it would be good to properly think of the future, and how you'd like that to be. Mental illness can change over time, and what we do now could effect us later in life. (I suffer from depression and anxiety and believe it's in some small part from what I've done to myself over the years, but far from the only reason)

You could always take a break to evaluate what and why you do what you do. Make plans for the future you want to have, like exploring whether your diagnosis is correct or not, and what you need to do about it. eg Okay, i've seen specialists and they all agree I have ..... condition so how do I go about managing it so that I can work my dream job, have a family and be at this place in my life in 10 years time or whatever. I may be able to keep it completely under control with certain meds etc, so am I jeapordizing things by my current actions.
You get the idea. I think it's important to make a plan if you're diagnosed with a possible life changing condition, whether it's diabetes, cancer, depression or anything else.
Think what you want to happen in your life and whether something is a real help or a possible hinderance. You don't want to look back at your life in years to come and have major regrets. We all have enough regrets to deal with, you can trust me on that. It's the really big ones that matter most.

I wish you luck.

[Kensalwhip]

I don't mean this in a harsh way so please don't take it as such but you sound quite immature, even at the tender age of 20, alarm bells ring at the sentence "I think everyone else is the problem". Just believe me on this, when you're young you don't know what you don't know and when you're full of drugs, particularly stimulants which make you feel very focused you're not always the best judge of yourself either. 

I say this as someone who was off the rails at your age, very nearly ended up in prison and I'm a former stimulant addict. 

Pleas, please take some time to think about your outlook and how it is shaped by your own bias, EVERYONE ELSE the problem, really? I'm not lecturing you, it is your life but you should realise people have your best interests at heart and perhaps you could still use the gear but with a little more consideration for yourself. I agree with your Dr. 

I suspect nobody can convince you of this but hopefully by enough people pointing it out you'll take some time to reflect and come to this conclusion yourself.

Good luck and keep us updated.