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As far as i think i need to go :) Ephenidine and others (potentially dangerous)
#1
Age 31

Male and Skinny

Personality: friendly (I think), but sometimes shy and a bit socially awkward, I enjoy computer games, music, close friends and seeing cool new things.

Before I begin, I would like to say a little about my history, I have always been a curious individual and started to experiment in my early teens. I do not wish to discuss this at length, as I would prefer to keep things from a legal and RC perspective. I have seen the effects which various drugs can have on some people, and unfortunately, it is not always positive. An old acquaintance of mine was very reckless with many, and got particularly nasty on alcohol. Subsequently, the last I heard he was receiving a lot of help from support services, has been in jail and has lost many friends. I think it’s important to have fun in life and to learn things, and as such, we need prioritising looking after ourselves, and when we can, others around us.

I personally find traditional psychedelics can be a bit tricky for my brain. I have had times in the past where they have put me in negative loops and have scared me too much. Sometimes I begin to worry too much and get scared, so I now tend to avoid them. I find my mind is better suited to dissociatives, as for me personally, they have that slight numbing effect. Admittedly, when pushed hard you have no control, and can only experience what you are faced with. I can see how this would could be extremely uncomfortable and I would cannot therefore recommend it. If one is curious, always start small, I have had many, many small doses of various dissociatives and actually, on the whole smaller doses have been a lot more fun and less scary! Having another with you is important too, for example, i have a tendency to forget how and what i have done, and with a trustworthy friend present, there is less room for error.

This is a particularly bad example of HR, and it could have ended badly, however I consider myself very lucky on this occasion and had an interesting time, so let’s begin J

Substances:
Bourbon Whisky: maybe 3 or 4 small glasses
Etizolam: x2
Ephenidine: 200mg x 2(400mg total) (Oral)
3-FPM: 200mg + MDAI: 100mg (Plugged combo)

It was meant to be a quiet night in, I was enjoying a few bourbons with my housemate. I STUPIDY took 2 etizolam (my very caring close friends have warned me about doing this before as they know it’s unsafe for me and know I go stupid, reckless or even, and it shames me to say this, a bit nasty when I mix booze and benzos, and now I really have to listen or one day it will ruin my life), I believed by taking etiz, I would have had a more relaxed evening, however, like always, that mix of downers gave me amnesia and made me reckless, and once my housemate went to bed, I decided I wanted to try ephenidine. I weighed 200mg (a silly dose, as I’d only previously gone up to 150mg) and bombed it. I waited for what I believed to be an hour, and nothing happened, so I stupidly did another 200mg. After an hour or so, still nothing, which I could not believe (I think the etiz, completely killed it, I think my body is a bit strange like that).

At some stage after, maybe an hour after the last bomb of ephenidine, I decided to give a 3-FPM and MDAI plugged combo a go. I came on to the UKCR shoutbox, and asked a few questions as I had not done this combo before, I am grateful that people told me that not many people had tried plugging MDAI before, so don’t go to heavy on the dose (I ended up settling for 3F:200mg + MDAI:100mg in a mixed solution, plugged).

I remember looking into my laptop on the bed, and a wave of pure bliss and clarity washed over my body as the MDAI and Stim absorbed inside me, it was wonderful, euphoric and heavenly. I was engaged in conversation from a very close friend of mine via external chat protocol(who in a way served as my virtual sitter) and a special member of this community on the shoutbox who will remain nameless (but I’m sure they know who they are! And thank you so much for that wonderful post trip experience, I truly felt I was part of something great and you all have my sincerest gratitude). However, within about 10 mins of this beautiful stim/mdai feeling, I realised I was starting to trip more and more! At first I thought it must be the MDAI, but then I remembered the 400mgs of ephenidine which I guess the benzos must have suppressed until then!

I got totally and utterly lost within 100s if not 1000s of different scenes. Some were the most pleasant I have ever had, I was dancing in the clouds knowing that ephenidine was the best drug in the entire wide world, and Pachelbel’s Canon in D was playing. But things got stranger and stranger. At one point I convinced i destroyed the world. I thought that I had taken the drug on webcam and every single person in the entire wide world saw me do it and watched me dissolve and unfold and enter 1000’s of different dimensions and now they all were doing it too, and it was all my fault, and I think some greater entities were not very impressed at my foolishness. I got scared to leave my room as I knew I did something which had upset the universe. I thought that my housemate, OF ALL THE BLOODY DAYS, arranged 100s of big burly workmen to start taking our house down, brick by brick, and they were disgusted at me for crawling around naked, off my head on drugs, and now the whole world could see what total mess I was. I felt so ashamed.

I’m not sure if I actually left my room, but I kept having this thing where I thought I was walking down the stairs and peering into the living room, and it was horrible and there was all people there and I could not face it at all and sheepishly had to go back upstairs to my room. At one point I thought I was totally mad and that people were coming to take me away!! I thought at one point I was at the top of the stairs looking at my open bedroom door and my housemate’s open bedroom door close together and I just screamed NO MORE DOORS, I’M SICK OF YOU! And at another point I thought I was hiding like a scared little girl behind my housemates bed. But in reality, I have no idea if I even left my bedroom!

There were more moments of true wonder though, I totally dissociated myself, myself in my bedroom was like a page of a book, flipping from page after page. I was the pages of a book! The most single incredible out of body part though was when I saw the other dimensions, I became many different entities, warping from dimension to dimension, felt new and complex ways of connection to others, I felt that this reality we live in is now just a stage as such, and there are others ones which can be far more complex and interesting, but they too also have problems with politics and power struggles and what not, so we must always try to have a good sense of morals and purpose. I had multiple faces, body parts, at one point I may have been distilled down to just colourful shapes and patterns, and I think, maybe, just maybe, I saw what life really is, and don’t worry everyone, it’s ongoing, in some form at least! x

There are kind people out there, and we do have a voice x

I think maybe, now, I don’t think I can go any further really with space travel and it was a privilege to go that far. I think the trip showed me my worst fears, as well as well the most beautiful things life has to offer. Ups and Downs “That’s Life” as they say. However, it did almost drive me completely insane and I don’t think I can do much more without losing my mind completely and potentially damaging my physical and mental health, my livelihood and those around me. And with a sound mind, I hope, with the help of my friends, that it may be possible to do some good in this world, however that will come by working together, not through drugs.

Just please, please stay safe, and do not look at this as any sort of encouragement, I know people who have taken these sorts of drugs and have made themselves very, very ill for a long, long time, and that is very, very sad, for them and their families.

And as a little final note, I did scare myself a little on the come down last night, from what I understand, mixing MDAI with unknown Dissociatives could potentially cause serotonin syndrome, which can and has killed people. My mind was still sloppy and messy last night when attempting to sleep, and I still have a weird headache this morning, I probably won’t be totally back to ordinary for a few weeks really! I’d HATE that someone would attempt to emulate my actions and damage themselves permanently, I was lucky and not everyone is. 

All the best x
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#2
Well written and useful report. Am glad nothing more serious came of it; we all do well to have a note of caution in mind, I think.

I'm not, personally, a contributor to Erowid but it strikes me that this is very much the sort of report that they also carry; as well as arranging trip reports by principal substance(s) involved, they also subdivide / classify under 'glowing experiences', 'first times', 'train wrecks and trip disasters' and other such categories.

As per the above, I know exactly bugger all about submitting to them, but think this is precisely the sort of report they'd be as pleased to carry as we would, and that reaches an international audience too. Your call; either way, thanks for sharing it with us.
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#3
I am a financial contributor to Erowid and have been an Erowid member since about 2004, although I've never filed a trip report.

I agree with Magick that this is a very good trip report and just the sort of thing they're looking for.

Please send it to them (it's very easy): go to https://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp_submit.cgi

It would be nice to mention UKCR too (they are aware of us).

Nubis
'Why can't I be different and original
Like everybody else?'
(Vivian Stanshall)
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#4
Thank you both very much for your kind words and advice. 

I live a busy life, and have to focus on a number of matters currently, but I will consider posting on Erowid in due course. Reading the report back to myself, I also realise i need to get my grammar amended too.

Thanks again, and I will let you know about Erowid in the near future.
All the best.
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#5
(14-06-2016, 09:24 PM)distantlands Wrote: Thank you both very much for your kind words and advice. 

I live a busy life, and have to focus on a number of matters currently, but I will consider posting on Erowid in due course. Reading the report back to myself, I also realise i need to get my grammar amended too.

Thanks again, and I will let you know about Erowid in the near future.
All the best.

I think I read recently that they've literally thousands of reports to go through but I hope that this will be noticed as a report on a fairly new substance and push it up the queue..
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